A new year always invites fresh possibilities yet, for many neurodivergent women, it also brings pressure! Pressure to suddenly become organised, consistent, motivated and energised… every day… without fail… forever. If only.
The truth is, if you’re neurodivergent, your motivation fluctuates as does your energy and your hormones. And your ability to execute a goal isn’t tied to discipline or willpower – it’s linked to nervous system regulation, dopamine availability, emotional alignment and whether the task feels meaningful and achievable.
So instead of: “New Year, New Me” let’s try something more humane: “Small, steady steps toward the life I actually want.”
Before you set goals, notice your hormones and cycles
Whether you’re navigating ADHD, autism, PMDD, perimenopause or menopause, hormones can dramatically change your:
- Motivation
- Confidence
- Focus
- Memory
- Emotional regulation
- Capacity for planning or follow-through
Some days you’ll feel unstoppable. Other days brushing your hair counts as an achievement. This is biology.
Instead of forcing yourself to operate the same every day, work with your hormonal rhythm. Track patterns, notice when planning feels easier vs when rest is needed, and build flexibility into your goals.
Start with questions, not tasks
Before you commit to anything, ask yourself:
- Does this goal excite me, or drain me?
- Is this something I want? Or something I think I should want?
- If nobody expected anything of me, would this still matter?
- Is this aligned with my season of life, capacity and values?
- What would make this feel easier or more enjoyable?
Neurodivergent women often create goals based on masking, approval, productivity culture and comparison. This time, make them honest. Make them yours.
Break goals into micro-actions
Big goals are lovely in theory, but the neurodivergent brain thrives on:
- Clarity
- Specifics
- Immediate reward
- Short time horizons
Instead of writing:
“Get fit”
Try:
“Walk for 10 minutes after breakfast twice a week.”
Instead of: “Be more organised”
Try: “Put one reminder in my phone for something future-me will forget.”
Small actions count; they compound and build momentum.
Use tools that support
Here are some helpful frameworks:
The Eisenhower Matrix
Sort tasks into:
- Important + urgent
- Important + not urgent
- Not important + urgent
- Not important + not urgent
Make decisions based on priority, not panic.
Habit stacking (James Clear)
Attach a new behaviour to one that already exists:
“After I make a cup of tea, I’ll write down one task for the day.”
Body-doubling / accountability
Momentum is easier when someone else is beside you (virtually counts!).
Expect messy middle moments
Progress isn’t linear. You will wobble, pause and forget. That doesn’t mean you should give in. Accept that this will happen and allow yourself time to reset with kindness. Self-compassion isn’t optional – it’s the glue that keeps goals alive long-term.
How coaching can help
If you struggle to set goals, maintain them, or even identify what you want… you’re not alone. Many neurodivergent women have spent years prioritising everyone else’s needs and never really thought about their own.
Coaching gives you:
- A safe space to explore what you want
- Gentle accountability
- Support to build habits that work with your brain
- Encouragement through setbacks
- Clarity when everything feels foggy
- A process that honours your pace, capacity and identity
If you’d like support creating goals that feel meaningful, manageable and aligned with the real you – not the masked version – I offer a free 30-minute discovery session to explore whether coaching feels right for you.
Your 2026 doesn’t have to be rushed, overwhelming or perfect. It just has to be yours. One step at a time.