Reflection

You’re too young for perimenopause – and other myths that are leaving women to suffer

Approximate reading time: 12–14 minutes “You’re too young.”   If you’ve ever gone to your GP because something didn’t feel quite right, there’s a good chance you may have heard those words. Perhaps you left feeling confused, frustrated or even a little embarrassed for having raised the possibility of perimenopause in the first place. After […]

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The lasting impact of reactive comments: how words shape self-belief

I often find myself thinking about the things people say without really meaning to cause harm. Not the deliberately cruel comments that most of us would recognise as unacceptable, but the throwaway remarks made in moments of frustration, impatience or humour. The comments that are quickly forgotten by the person who says them, whilst somehow

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Two and a half years after my autism diagnosis, I’m still joining the dots

I often say that receiving my ADHD diagnosis at the age of 49, followed by my autism diagnosis two years later, didn’t change who I was. It simply gave me a different lens through which to understand the person I’d always been.   People sometimes ask whether it was a relief to finally have an

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Why do I go blank when asked about myself? Alexithymia, Delayed Processing and Late-Discovered Neurodivergence

Many late-discovered neurodivergent women describe difficulties identifying emotions, recognising their strengths, or knowing how they feel in the moment. Sometimes this is linked to alexithymia or delayed processing, although experiences vary from person to person. This article explores these experiences through my own reflections as a late-discovered autistic and ADHD woman.   I was thinking

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When I stopped cooking dinner: ADHD, menopause and letting go of the pressure to Cook Every Evening

There was a time when I believed that a “good” mum cooked the evening meal every night. I don’t remember anybody ever actually saying that to me, but somewhere along the way I’d absorbed the message all the same. A proper meal. Home cooked. Served at the table. The family sitting together, talking about their

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Late discovery is not the end of the story – it’s the beginning of a lifelong unpacking

For many late diagnosed ADHD and autistic women, discovering neurodivergence in midlife is not a neat moment of clarity. It is the slow, ongoing process of re-examining decades of masking, burnout, people-pleasing and survival – and gently learning who you are underneath it all.   People often talk about receiving a diagnosis or identifying as

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The AuDHD push-pull: why late-discovered AuDHD women often crave connection and solitude at the same time 

One of the things I hear again and again from late-discovered AuDHD women is this: “I want connection so badly… but I also find people exhausting.”    It’s a contradiction that can feel incredibly confusing, particularly for women discovering ADHD and autism in midlife, often during perimenopause or menopause, when coping strategies and masking can begin

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From chaos and confusion to peace and purpose: how sobriety, menopause and late-discovered ADHD changed my life

Reflecting on how sobriety, menopause and understanding my neurodivergent brain helped me build a more authentic life I’ve been thinking recently about how strange life can be sometimes. If someone had told me ten years ago that choosing sobriety, navigating menopause and discovering that I am both ADHD and autistic would eventually lead me towards

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Why we struggle to celebrate ourselves: Recognising strengths after late-discovered ADHD and autism

How years of self-criticism can make it difficult to recognise what we’re doing well Since writing my previous article about discovering ADHD and autism during menopause, I’ve found myself reflecting on what came afterwards. Not the diagnoses themselves, but the process of beginning to see myself differently. Recently, I was asked a question that, on

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Late-discovered ADHD and autism in menopause: My journey from survival to purpose

How menopause became the beginning of understanding myself for the first time   For much of my life, I thought I was simply struggling more than everyone else. I was the woman who held everything together on the outside whilst quietly battling chaos on the inside. I was raising children, working hard, supporting everyone around

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