I found myself googling something recently that made me smile: “Why am I so pedantic as an autistic person?” Not because I was expecting a quick answer, but because I genuinely wanted to understand why I seem to notice things that other people either don’t see or don’t appear to find important. It’s something I’ve […]
Why am I so pedantic? An autistic perspective Read More »
Have you ever caught yourself wondering whether you’re really autistic because there’s a stereotype you just don’t relate to? I have. For me, it was the idea of having a “special interest” — the ones we’re all familiar with: trains, dinosaurs, astronomy, memorising endless facts about a single topic. Since my diagnosis, I’ve spent far
I’m autistic… so why don’t I have a special interest? Read More »
If someone asked me whether I could prepare a meal, I’d answer, “Yes.” And I’d be telling the truth. The problem is, it wouldn’t be the whole truth. I know how to cook. I understand the basics of nutrition. I can follow a recipe (although I have been known to misread the occasional step!),
Why capability isn’t the same as capacity when you live with ADHD or autism Read More »
I often find myself thinking about the things people say without really meaning to cause harm. Not the deliberately cruel comments that most of us would recognise as unacceptable, but the throwaway remarks made in moments of frustration, impatience or humour. The comments that are quickly forgotten by the person who says them, whilst somehow
The lasting impact of reactive comments: how words shape self-belief Read More »
A few weeks ago, I was walking through Winchester market on one of the busier days and found myself doing something that has become increasingly common over the last few years. As I approached the fish stall and the cheese stall, I instinctively pulled my jumper up over my nose and quickened my pace, eager
I often say that receiving my ADHD diagnosis at the age of 49, followed by my autism diagnosis two years later, didn’t change who I was. It simply gave me a different lens through which to understand the person I’d always been. People sometimes ask whether it was a relief to finally have an
Two and a half years after my autism diagnosis, I’m still joining the dots Read More »
Many late-discovered neurodivergent women describe difficulties identifying emotions, recognising their strengths, or knowing how they feel in the moment. Sometimes this is linked to alexithymia or delayed processing, although experiences vary from person to person. This article explores these experiences through my own reflections as a late-discovered autistic and ADHD woman. I was thinking
There was a time when I believed that a “good” mum cooked the evening meal every night. I don’t remember anybody ever actually saying that to me, but somewhere along the way I’d absorbed the message all the same. A proper meal. Home cooked. Served at the table. The family sitting together, talking about their
For many late diagnosed ADHD and autistic women, discovering neurodivergence in midlife is not a neat moment of clarity. It is the slow, ongoing process of re-examining decades of masking, burnout, people-pleasing and survival – and gently learning who you are underneath it all. People often talk about receiving a diagnosis or identifying as
Late discovery is not the end of the story – it’s the beginning of a lifelong unpacking Read More »
One of the things I hear again and again from late-discovered AuDHD women is this: “I want connection so badly… but I also find people exhausting.” It’s a contradiction that can feel incredibly confusing, particularly for women discovering ADHD and autism in midlife, often during perimenopause or menopause, when coping strategies and masking can begin
